Ah, the friend zone. Sure, of course you’re happy that a lady you like has taken a liking to you- she wants to spend time with you, you can rely on each other, and you make each other laugh. But she doesn’t see you as anything other than a platonic friend. This article will teach you how to get out of the friend zone without winding up drunkenly trying to explain your feelings after a movie night and three bottles of wine.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone Tip # 1: Step It Up
The first thing to do is try and discuss with your lady love how you see your relationship, and how she sees it, versus how you want it to be. Be calm and polite, and don’t treat her as if she owes you anything for your days/months/years of friendship, because that’s silly. Think about it as a renegotiation: the boundaries of the relationship have been established, and you can both talk about where you’re comfortable moving them to. You might find that she feels the same way.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone Tip # 2: Cool Off
It’s not as extreme as playing hard to get, but just cooling off a little in your relationship will help move you out of the friend zone. You don’t have to stop seeing her altogether- just make yourself a little bit less available. Don’t act any differently than you normally would when you’re with her, but give her the time to appreciate exactly what it is about the relationship you share that she misses when you’re apart. It might give her the chance to re-evaluate your relationship, and at worst she’ll place a higher value on your time.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone Tip # 3: Take Some Time to Yourself
Similar to the above, make yourself a little bit scarce, and take some time to reconnect with other friends. Take some time to yourself specifically, and think about what you want from the relationship. Why do you want to step things up and start a romantic dalliance with your friend? What will you do if things don’t work out in a dramatic way? Are you willing to potentially lose a friend over this? What has she been like in past relationships, and can you see that gelling with your style of dating?
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone Tip # 4: Be Valuable
As well as placing a high value on yourself, place a higher value on your time. Spend days out with other friends, and don’t be afraid to tell her about it. Trying to make her jealous is a little childish, but showing that you are valued by other people and that she isn’t always your priority will make her rethink the relationship with this new vision of who you are. And it’s difficult for her to think about you in a different way if you’re right there in front of her, at her beck and call, the whole time.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone Tip # 5: Encourage Her to Invest In You
Getting her to invest in you doesn’t have to be as dramatic as moving in together; it can be something as small as sharing little secrets with her, or listening to hers. This will show a level of trust that she might not have with other friends, and suggest a new level of intimacy between the two of you. You’ll find both of you will start to invest more time and emotion into the friendship, with will hopefully lay the groundwork for the beginnings of a little bit of romance.
Despite the seemingly endless nature of it, there are many ways to get out the friend zone. Be truthful with your lady friend and don’t play endless, intricate games, as it’s likely she won’t even notice. Friendships are a great basis for relationships; it’s just getting there that’s the hard bit.